Wednesday, 2 May 2018

The Facade Of Indifference

"I'm very dependent on materialistic matter. Everything is moving. Maybe an illusion."

That was insane. Felt insane. Insanity has proven mankind that the control this human race has on anything is completely illusory. Almost every moment we teeter on chaos and oblivion. But that fine night, I asked myself, with my infinite capacity for illusion, if such pitiless indifference for positivity might be a subterfuge for hiding the torments of my life as a whole.
Well, the world itself can be illusory and there is nothing wrong in being so. It's what humans want. It's what we expect. This lets us down.
"One day everything will be alright." This is our hope.
"Everything is fine now." This is our illusion.
These various illusions are an illusion itself and they will be omnipresent. Whereas reality exists permanently. Despite the facade. You live. Despite the facade.
Question this illusion of yours. Kill this facade of indifference.

Friday, 31 March 2017

not late yet

the cells making shit up. i don't speak. i'm still thinking. not one single word. it's not mellow at all if that's what you're thinking. chaos. hardcore chaos. a bit melodic though. that is what is making me still go. i've not given one thought of stopping. i'm no quitter. it's beautiful. it's so pleasant that i hum. still not going to speak. they're staring. it's been a long while. many passed by. but i can feel eyes gazing at the amount of focus a very over-energetic lad was having on nothing. nothing at all. to them. but for me? man, it isn't no joke. minutely detailed memories; opinions; previously experienced scenarios; fights; friendship; love; family; god; saints; aliens; karma; sports; and the list was quite quite lot. things you usually think about. things you randomly think about. things you sometimes give a few minutes to think. things you rarely think about. things you don't think about. all of it. but with zillion times more emphasis. that's how it's maddening in a way. but the sweet dopamine can be felt in every quiet breath i take. a stupid grin on my face. i try not to show it. ultimate extreme try. but it feels like those muscle tissues won't move. not one inch. and then i think why should i? it ain't no crime to smile. is it? i start laughing. a few moments pass by and i'm thinking that what i was doing was called being weird. i relax. still not a single word being uttered. breathing felt good. still thinking about everything. the cells aren't tired yet. should they? no. not at all. what a wonderful world. still how naive. how bittersweet. such contradiction. such hypocrisy. such fun. so much fun. yet a considerable amount of sadness. it's the other way around with the other half. comfort is wanted though. and comfort is given as well. to the best and the worst. care, attention, love, hate, lust, it's all omnipresent. it won't go even if you want it to. and that gives us humans the hope of future. hope for survival. survival in this competitive and unfair world. but we don't mind. we're used to it. we don't mind till that point where all of that wrong isn't noticed anymore. it becomes "normal". but our mind plays games and we start questioning. it's quite rare. but that's when you start seeing things in a different way. no one can explain that "different". it's only felt. hope everyone feels it.

i notice myself feeling normal. i ask the time to the old man sitting next to me. he says it's too late. i smile and leave home for some good sleep. i really need it.


Friday, 3 March 2017


Spiked spine
Straight fade
Blurred pain
Sweet taste
Of that poison cube
Never tasted the same again

Life it was called
Some ignore it with a nod
Some say it's a trip
No wonder you'll lose your grip

Hands tied
Thoughts are free
Paranoia takes her lead
You shake your head
It's chilly, feeling dead
Living the dream which starts to bleed

It's abstract they say,
No role for debate
But abstract in what fucking way?
Can't you relate?

Contradictory emotions
Which destruct and heal
Have no difference
To what you and I mutually feel

It's not what I say or write
It's just how you play and fight
That eerie and urgent plight
Of emotions proving you're a pagan
And lagging behind and you're tagging
Those strong mind-games who're bragging

The faster they go
The louder they scream
Their ego is low
The brightest their beam

The power below
Hasn't seen no defeat
Strength never seen before
Dare witness on repeat?


Monday, 20 February 2017

Chemical Humanity

Elements withdraw
As I've been laying it raw
Contemplating so, keep eyes upto your target below
Pain is slow
Presenting flows that glow
Trigger damn target and blow
Fucks given is nil to those parasitic hoes

So here I go with my shot
Not one single second thought
Patiently keeping 'em brains to rot
Turn to a live and breathing psycho-bot

Now this is how I must go
With no more pain to show
The rhythm proud and mellow
They're calling me out for some more

Trapped my discarded feelings
Inside that metal heart that's beating
Slicing and parting them till they're
Bleeding and fainting while I'm here
Singing and playing with all these cons they've been
Saving and craving

Souls which are so damn hard to squeeze
Look around, give in, kiss the sweet-loving breeze
'Cause god knows, he speaks, he talks, he feels, he sees
That humans won't exist anymore to get down on their knees

Trying to simplify my tones
To seep some sense through your bones
All our imaginary thrones
Versus David and his stone
Time for some zabagliones
'Cause sweet is something very bizarre which the end owns


Saturday, 18 February 2017

Rides To High Life

Rides to high life do and always will teach you how your surroundings and society and the norms of the society treats you and everyone around you judging you on the basis of your sex, age, clothing, behavior and language. And few other factors too. But I was basically judged by these. But that's what makes us humans. Emotions. Opinions. Feelings. Views. So much of variety. So beautiful. Yet so cruel. The world will seem to be beautiful and cruel at the same time if you look at it in the perfect. Again, since we're humans, we'll have "perfect" as a variable. This is because everyone has their own perfect. So, whenever a sight or any kind of matter is perfect to you, just know that it's perfect only to you. Others will take it in a more or less perfect way. So nothing in this world is perfect. It's just your mind that creates your own variables and makes you turn them into constants to a point where you no longer question yourself.

Learn to question yourself.
Learn from your rides.


The Contradiction

Things happen. Or maybe they don't. Sometimes a maybe doesn't work. It must be a fact. You should be sure. But sometimes you don't always be sure. The doubt is omnipresent. It makes its presence felt. And it eats away at you. You are the one that disappears. Carpe diem. Live your life. Don't let go of opportunities. It is always done that way. Should be done that way. no one lets go. But still doubt persists. you don't. You fade away. Doubt doesn't. You live your life in doubt. You die. With no one to remember you eternally. At least you left a footprint. You are different and always will be.

You will contradict yourself.
For sure.


Thursday, 16 February 2017

Hazel Pulp

I tried to write
But couldn't find
The scabby reasons
To decide
I hate to say that I don't mean to play
With all your gay memories seeming far away

So I won't give up
Daze since the hazel pulp
Swear I'll explode and jump
Over the puny ragbag mermaids
And the stars above

Creepin' under fat baloney
We've been spittin' till we're bleedin'
They've been sittin' and they're stealin'
The feelin' of belongin' to the primitive visions

Hold up
Don't give up
Daze after hazel pulp syrup
Feel the explosion and then fly up and up
Over the dazzling stars above us.

Shine on.